Lingering Luxury

What a morning!  Good morning, by the way, how are YOU?

True to local predictions, the wind did its best to undress the trees of their autumn finery yesterday.  Gazing out the window up the steep winding driveway/hillside and on into the woods, I acknowledge a new revelation of the definition for this type of day and it is not wet and dreary.

Rejuvenating and reawakening would be a good snatch at words without coffee in hand.  Oh, but it is brewing nearby and the aroma as usual, heavenly as in uplifting!  My spirits begin to soar watching the wide variety of birds fetch their breakfast between the soggy leaves and sprigs of bright green grassy spots that remain.  A flash of movement and my eyes follow a dozen or so white tails bound through the air from the woods on one side of the driveway to the other side of the woods.  Headed to the creek for a drink, I suppose.

They lead me to take more notice of the plentiful foliage, bright and beautiful, still clinging for their lives to stark trees that seem to shimmer in the cold drizzle.  I shivered a bit, feeling their nakedness, and moved from the window to tend even more important things at hand.  Coffee!

With coffee in hand and the aroma uplifting me, I will soon shake off the shackles of age and illness perks.  The mind seems to be sharp as a tack and already gearing up for this new outlook of a day.  I actually went back to bed, but NO!  The Chihuahuas would not hear of such a thing!

Theresa had reported cutting back the mums and other flowers in her flower garden.  This brought my eyes to ones I picked from my curbside welcome garden.  They are a rusty red, spidery petals, with golden mustard centers.  They bloomed later than the other varieties and hold their heads up so proud in the windowsill.  I would be proud too, had I made it through the past freezes we have endured the last few weeks.   To me, they are candy for the mind and heart.  I will wait for the drizzle to subside and tackle cutting the most of the mums back today, so the pansies can peak through the broad bushy beauty now ebbing away.

I had fully intended to richochet from coffee to crocheting, but for the love of the word, I had to talk to anyone who will listen to my heart first.  I say “Hello and good morning, God!  How are YOU?” and let Him know I am ready to listen.

The phone rings.  I answer.  “Please hold the line.” Click.  I hang up.  Humph.  They want me they will call back.  I am not going to waste a moment standing still.  Shucks.  My fingers cannot even stay still.  I am non-stop go and get done from dawn to past dusk.  I get too still, and I am out for the count.

I hear me saying I and me a lot lately.  I remember back when the kids were little.  I talked to them all the time whether they listened or not.  I had to talk.  I had a lot to say.  Nobody to listen.  Same way now.  By the time I get to talk to my friends, I am on overload spilling my thoughts, ideas, and events of the day into their laps.  I often imagine them putting their hands to their ears, but have not caught them yet.  Ahhh! For the love of a friend.

I have scleroderma.  It is an autoimmune disease which I was diagnosed with last autumn.  Looking back over the years I find I probably have had this flaw for quite some time.  I tend to get down in the dumps, but I fight, struggle, wiggle until I can breathe again!  Humph.  Again.  Not going to let the body jail me.  So, I love to talk or write or work or something to stay busy.

They tell me some things start to happen when I slowdown in age.  They tell me I need to get more exercise other than work.  They tell me my joints are disintegrating and that I need to slow down!?

Then I get to thinking it all could be so much worse.  Some of my friends have problems that are like mountains compared to my molehills and I praise God for walking with me.  This leads me to my daughter.

When I fall into the clutches of a pity party, I yearn for someone to remember me.  I would love to receive calls often,  flowers would be so lovely, or a few minutes of their time in visitation would be highly treasured.  Friends manage to prevail, but kids do not realize this injection of their love and lives is a necessity for someone’s ability to thrive and stay involved in life who is alone, let alone aging with a disease.

Shifting gears now.

My revelations included this.  If I cannot be involved with my family as I want and need, I will find ways to still be useful and wanted and needed.  I have decided to help others when needed and push my heart to the rear of the bus.  I figure in time, these recipients of my heartfelt gestures will be my family to fill in the lonely times until my family can overcome their obstacles that keep them from me.  Say gas, miles, money…..attitudes. 

 Come on economy!  Breathe some life back into us!

Meanwhile back on our farm.  We dubbed it ‘Heartspun Hilltop Haven”.  I need to stop whining and get busy.  Life is too short and precious to waste a second.  Too many times I have heard how time flies and it really, really does. 

When we are young we think we are invincible.  Well, mornings hyper jet into evenings around here.  Flipping off the TV, later Paula, turning off the PC, catch up with you later Facebook, and refill the coffee mug for energy to finish those lap blankets I am crocheting for Christmas gifts.  I find they are welcome to lonely seniors.

Enjoy your day no matter where God plants you.  It is His gift!